THE TASTE OF GRUDGE

The soul knows pain but is never diminished, injured, or destroyed. 
Thank you, Clarissa, for teaching this.
         
I

How many
Times
Life
Has
Seemed
Too steep
A
Hill
To
Climb
How
Many times
The hill
Has disappeared
Like
Mist.

I am carried
In arms
That planned
Adventure
for
My life
I sit nowhere
I am
Told
To
Stand.

II

You
Will
Concern
Me
In
My dreams
&
In my
Hour
Of
Death:

I love you
In & out
Of
All
Assignments.

Obviously
We
Had
Work
To
Do.


III

Do not fight
The despair
Of
Harming
Me.
To my
Kindness
You
Have
Been
Rude
&
More.
Something
In Life
Evens
Every
Score
&
I am left
To
Say
Even
If I disappear
Be
Safe.


IV

Let the
Joyful
Heart
That
Knows
The
Dance
Return!
Sorrow has
Banished
It,
Grief
Has
Stilled
My feet.
But there
Remains
Internal
Movement
Toward
Life’s
Margin
Where
All
Begins
Again
In
Solemn
Beat.

V

Who can
Completely
Stop
A gift?
My love
Will flow
Around
Your
Rocks
Break
Your
Dam
& live
In
All
The
Trampled
Plants
Of
Your
Fouled
Wilderness.

It is a bright
Spring
Glowing
Rippling
Overflowing
In
The
Shade.

I do not
Regret
That
I am
Imperfect.

In each crack
There is
An orchid
Growing.

& chocolate
Serves
Me
When
As
I
Slip
From
Grace.

I do not
Relish
Perfection
Nor sainthood.

Flying
Through
This
Existence
As
Myself
I honor
All
The
Fierce
Edges
I have
Made
For
Myself
&
The conundrums
I
Have
Made
For
You.

VI

There is
No God
But
Love
Which
Is
What
I
Have
Become.

Just a
Part
A
Tiny
Part
Of
It

Beyond
Anger
Beyond
Blame
But
Not
Beyond
The
Peace
Still
Possible
To
All
In this
World.

VII

I do not
Mourn
That is not
 the feeling
I have
But rather
I feel
The
Cool
Darkness
Inside
Me
Steady
As a
Slowly
Flowing
Stream.

It glimmers
& glows
But
Little
Yet
Lights my way.


VIII

You have hit
A wall
That
Was
My
Open heart.

Protection
(not closure)
Has
Sprung up
Like
Those
Weeds
In
Mexico
We eat
In
Salads.

It
Just grows
There
Sent
By
Angels
The same ones
Ageless
Who are
Always
Looking out
For me.

I may die
Tonight
Perhaps you
Are killing
Me.
I do not
Blame you
For anything.
You were
Part of
The work
I was given
On
This
Trip.
You did
Your
Part.
I did
Mine.

IX

The journey
Of death
The journey
To death
I do not
Fear.
When you smell
A rose
Or see one
Or
See a
Doe
Or jackrabbit,
A leaf,
A
Star
There
I
Will be
Sooner
Or later
& you
Will see: No anger
Followed me.
No injury.
No blame.

X

Save yourself!
It can be done.
Even if the mind
Is
Shambled
Sit still
Place
Your
Back
Against
A tree
Like Buddha
& steady
It.
Silence it.

It wants
To go on
Possessing
Controlling
Raging
Dictating
Lying.

But life’s
Too short!

You’ll wake up
In the
Night
One day
&
It will all
-this life-
Be over!

What a waste
Is any kind
Of
Grudge.

The taste
of
Grudge
Completely
Destroys
The
Taste
Of
Cherries.

Wake up!
Before it is
Too late:
Rejoice
To have
The
Noble
Dwelling
Of
Your body
With all
Its
Teeth!


XI

Let the wind
Talk
To you
On the moor,
Like
Jane Eyre
& your
Sister’s
Heroes
In
Books
That
Threw
A lifeline
Across
Abyss after
Abyss
Of craziness.

XII

We did what
We could
With what
Was
Forced
On us

No regrets.
No blame.
The taste
Of figs
Cherries
Peaches
Mangoes
Orange peel
Scent

With blind
Luck
& many
Tribulations
We made it
To
This
World!

XIII

Rise!  Rising
As Maya
Reminds us
Is our
Way
With
Devastation.
There is
No
God
But
Love
&
So
Rising is
Inherent
In
Our
Heartbeat
As we
Move
Carried or
Knocked
About
By life.

This we know:
We were
Not meant
To suffer
So much
& to learn
Nothing.

  © 2008 Alice Walker